"God showed me something small, no bigger than a hazelnut, lying in the palm of my hand… and it was round as a ball. I looked at it with the eye of my understanding and thought: 'What can this be?' And it was generally answered thus: 'It is all that was made.' It was so small I thought it might disappear, but I was answered... everything has being through the love of God." --Julian of Norwich

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Be VERY careful what you vow to the LORD

Well, a few weeks later, I'm going to expound upon a sentiment that I mentioned in my last post: be very careful what you vow to the LORD. As I mentioned before I vowed to give up clutter for lent, thinking that that meant that I would clean up my apartment over break, and maybe try to stop using the internet so gratuitously. Well, the good Lord had other plans. On Saturday I got sick with a temperature of 102. I spent the rest of break pretty much stuck in the apartment getting better. I slept and slept and slept until I thought I was going to get bedsores. I thought getting rid of clutter was a job I had to do. God said getting rid of clutter was doing NOTHING for a week. Interestingly, I had been praying for a time of retreat for several months now, a time to get away from daily responsibilities and enjoy the presence of the Lord in silence and stillness. I didn't know that I could find that rest in the gentle sunshine of my own living room. I learned quite a bit about myself that I never would have discovered had it not been for the circumstances. Mostly I just had a chance to remember what it is that I truly love, that I am most passionately myself when I am reading and when I am writing. And I had a chance to listen to my work, to hear what it really is that I should be writing about, what has touched me and changed me about the past three years. It was phenomenal. I wish it didn't involve going through three boxes of Kleenex, but hey, whatever works.

1 comment:

  1. Laura, I'm loving in the sunshine in your apartment! I'm also loving reading updates from you! Did you get your hair cut, or is it just the angle of the profile picture?

    How does spring creep into New York City? In Chicago it comes bashfully, in fits and starts.