Thoughts at the end of a sick day

I fell asleep last night drafting this post in my head, but after a long day of sitting on the couch blowing my nose in a feverish haze… I’ve forgotten what it was that I wanted to say. The nice thing about having a sick day was that I’ve finally finished Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, which I thoroughly enjoyed. (For those of you who’ve read it: I think John Ames would approve of pointing out the nice thing about having a sick day, don’t you?)

This week is reading break at Regent and I was excited about being able to write without distractions… but my body had another plan. It’s amazing how many people I know across the continent who have come down with colds right now… I guess its that season. And I have a long standing tradition of getting sick around the end of January/beginning of February, and a cold is the least of the illnesses I’ve marked this time of year with, so I’ll take it. I don’t think I’d had a cold in two years before I got pregnant, but I’ve been sick twice in the 20 weeks so far. But they say your immune system is lower during pregnancy. I guess if a cold is this yucky, I sure don’t want the flu!

We had our 20 week ultrasound last Monday and I have grainy black and white pictures of our sweet baby up above my desk now. If I get a chance to scan them sometime soon, I’ll post them. All seems to be well. We found out the gender (of course these predictions are never quite 100% until baby arrives), but we’re not telling. We’ll let you know when the baby is born. Until then I’ll be practicing gender-neutrality by alternating pronouns. :)

As his movements become more distinct and regular (Clint could feel them last night for the first time!), as I look at the pictures of her tiny fingers, toes, and nose and as my belly becomes more and more pronounced, it’s starting to really sink in that we’re having a baby. In the first trimester it was much harder to imagine an actual person coming out of this whole thing. It felt like such a weird way for new humans to be made—growing inside other humans. But as I go through it myself, it’s not so incredibly weird. I feel such a connection to the little person who I carry around.

I’m starting to research a bit and imagine all the things we’ll need to welcome this child into our home: bassinet, clothes, blankets, slings, diapers, carseat, stroller. In some ways it seems like a lot, in others, not so bad. I’ve found a bed that will sit comfortably beside ours, I’ve started to price out cloth diapers (and decide cheaper is better!), and I’m learning little bits about labor and breastfeeding, those motherly rites of passage. As of right now, it looks like I’ll be able to be an overeducated housewife for a while after baby arrives. And I’m really, really looking forward to this new kind of work.